Go to the beach. Go to a barbecue. Go to the mall and shop the Labor Day sales. Whatever you do, don't go to the movies. Unless you're planning to see something that's been playing for a while. Just trust me on this.
The widest opening this week, playing at nearly 3,500 locations, is Rob Zombie's remake of John Carpenter's Halloween. Why would Rob Zombie do this? Who the heck knows? This one was not screened for critics, so it's purely a guess on my part, but I'm figuring Zombie thought he could get away with being a whole helluva lot more graphic in today's cinematic environment than Carpenter was. Whether he can be both pornographic and actually intriguing is another question. His last film, 2005's The Devil's Rejects, was a stylish wonder, if an empty one. That one was shown to critics, though...
Balls of Fury opened on Wednesday. It's exactly what you think it is. If you're into crotch injuries as comedy and Christopher Walken embarrassing himself, go for it. Supposedly it's a ping-pong version of the '70s kung-fu classic Enter the Dragon, but I'm not seeing it.
Kevin Bacon as a modern day Bronson-style vigilante? Eh, not so much. The studio held Death Sentence from critics till the very last minute, and I saw it last night at 9:30, which meant I didn't get home till nearly 1 am. But hey, I could have slept through most of the movie and awakened for the hilarious final 20 minutes, which is, at least, like a parody of '70s vigilante flicks.
What is it with the '70s stuff this weekend?
What's expanding? Good stuff, good stuff. Adding screens are Death at a Funeral, the funniest movie this year (after Hot Fuzz); the Irish musical Once, which I still haven't seen (and I'm still kicking myself over); Leonardo DiCaprio's The 11th Hour, a powerful eco-doc about how we're destroying the planet; and The Ten, ten short films about the Ten Commandments. I haven't seen that one yet either, but a fellow critic told me three of the ten are really good. I bet those are the ones about adultery and coveting, and that fun stuff...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-MaryAnn Johanson (email me)
reviews, reviews, reviews! at FlickFilosopher.com
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